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It’s been a few weeks since I moved into a new house. Being a highly sensitive and introverted person, I had a hard time making it through the changes in my domicile, my outdoor spaces, the people around me in my new house, and letting go of so much I loved. Things I felt necessary for my happiness. An HSP is another way of saying someone who feels things in his or her environment that others don’t. When a small child cries at McDonald’s, for instance, I feel like crying, fully knowing it’s not my sad, but the little child’s. When a friend tells me she has cancer and doesn’t know how long she’ll live but dismisses it as, ‘Everyone is dying,’ I feel a tsunami of sorrow plow over me.
But not only do I feel things that are mine and things that belong to others, I feel things very deeply. When I learned about the puppy who’d been killed in a hot oven when the owner’s ex-girlfriend hut him in the oven, my heart broke into a million pieces. I cried about it for days. I have to have my reaction, as Cameron on Modern Family is famous for. The move prompted big reactions, too.
But I’ve learned some things in the process of moving. I had thought I was in a place of getting rid of the old life and eagerly welcoming the new. Imagine how surprised to learn that I had strong attachments still to all sorts of things. I actually watched my poor sons carry a heavy, heavy desk into my new house because I loved the desk. I’d had it for years. It had been a part of the beginning of things I wanted in my life, and I demanded the desk stay with me. Then I felt disgusted by my demand and sorry I’d put my sons through that painful process, hoping they wouldn’t break their backs or their hands in the process.
I know when I move again I won’t be taking any where near the amount of stuff with me. My attachment has weakened, transformed, and my outlook is clearer about what really matters.
Right now it’s still hard to deal with my present environment, but I’m grateful I have a home with my husband. It’s spacious and comfortable. And one of the things I was most worried about, my cat making the transition, has gone well.
Changes are typically difficult, even ones you welcome. Why is it so hard? That’s a topic for another post.